...what's in my head. I warn you it may be too RAW! I woke up feeling a little overwhelmed this morning. Not at the to-do list of things to get done before we leave, but overwhelmed with emotion. I just have NO IDEA what the next few weeks will lead to..what they will be like...how much adjusting we as a family will be doing.
I birthed three children...I know what that is like! But, I have never done this!
I am not the "one" that grew up dreaming that I would adopt someday! I never had it in my plan! The Lord called us to obedience in this! We stepped out on a leap of faith, knowing that God would guide each step if it was His Will! And here we are. We have had soooo much joy, sooo much peace, soooo much excitement along the way. We DO KNOW that God has had this in HIS plan for us since the beginning and we completely trust that He will walk us through this final stage...it just feels completely scary and overwhelming today!
I mean...we have no idea what he is like. How he is feeling. If he is scared to death to leave everything he has ever known, and go with complete strangers. How does an almost 4 year old comprehend that! And then there is his mom. One person that loves him more than life itself and can't raise him because of her circumstances. I can't even go there. I just am scared!
When I deep breathe my way through these feelings...I KNOW WITHOUT A SHADOW OF A DOUBT...that "He who began a good work in us will carry it to completion." That "He is faithful..." That "He is Sovereign." and that "He is good." "His mercies are NEW every morning....GREAT IS HIS FAITHFULNESS!"
REALLY JUST NEED TO FOCUS ON THAT TODAY!
Joy, if I were in your situation, I would be feeling the same way. It is really scary, and it is going to be very different. But I have no doubt, that it will be amazing! And a few months from now, when you go back and read this post, you will giggle to yourself and say, "What was I worried about???" Continue to focus on Him and what an incredible difference you will make in the life of one little boy. Praying for all of you!
ReplyDeletePRAYING FOR YOU and your FAMILY!!!
ReplyDeleteWe love you!!!
This might be scary but think how much scarier life would have been if you would have said no....
God has gone before you and is preparing the way for you to walk in it. He is GOD. Nothing is impossible for Him. Doesn't mean it will be easy, but "I'd rather walk in the dark with Jesus than to walk in the light alone." Praying!!
ReplyDeleteI've been there, friend. I've felt it too. Call me - or walk over ANYTIME. For me, just voicing my jumbled feelings, esp. to those who "get it," has been essential. I look forward to continuing this journey together!
ReplyDeleteerin
Joy, your feelings and emotions are so normal. It would be scary if you weren't feeling this way! He has guided you through this whole process, He will not leave you now! Lean on Him and He will be there with you through the scariest, yet most exciting, part! I love you and am praying for your whole family!!!
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